The Half Marathon Journey- Certainly no “half” stepping

No Half Stepping

I think one of my best traits has always been that while I am ambitious and tend to accomplish a lot I am also a humble, down to earth person with real problems and issues. I am not a person who has supremely good luck, advantages or a lot of natural talents. I have been through hardships and have been forced to bounce back quickly and with a “balls to the wall” mentality. I get a lot done with minimal resources. People can relate me to because I am your basic “blue collar hero” so to speak. I see experiences from a normal person’s viewpoint. No one really wants to read a story about a girl who completes a marathon in 3 hours, because she is genetically engineered to do so, has lungs of steel or doesn’t have to work a full time job therefore she can train all day and night with little to no distraction, or worst of all has a sponsorship!!! . I work full time at a basic office job, am not genetically built for running, and most importantly, I am not incredibly fit. Just to give you a little history, after the Spring of 2008, my weight had reached its highest peak, 180 lbs and I decided it was time to make some changes. Between the spring of 2008 and 2009 I was able to lose 40 lbs and develop a new interest in fitness including my introduction to the world of Triathlon/Duathlon/Marathon. From there, I have run as fast as I can from an unhealthy lifestyle and never looked back. As most athletes know, lower weight/body fat percentage doesn’t necessarily equal fitness nor does it predict your ability to complete an endurance race. I know people who weigh 50lbs less than I do with visible muscle tone that I can run easily run circles around, and in the same vein, I know a few overweight people who can run 6 minute miles, “out swim” me and “out bike” me on my best day. Never can tell just by looking. So you want to run a half marathon? Let me tell you my story from the “Average Jane” perspective.

December 13, 2009

After following Hal Higdon’s Half Marathon Novice Training program down to the letter, I felt pretty confident going into the morning of the race. White Rock Marathon/Half Marathon is probably one of the largest races held in Dallas, if not the very largest. Over 20,000 people in attendance and ready to race. The night before the race I laid out all my gear including heart rate monitor, watch, iPod and earbuds , Energy bars/GU/Clif Bloks etc etc. I was prepared for whatever the “Rock” could throw at me. I left the house a bit before 6 AM assuming that give me plenty of time to fight traffic and find parking considering that the race started at 8 AM. I was wrong. I sat in a long line of traffic for over 1 hour and 30 minutes, causing me to barely make it to the runner’s starting corral by the appointed time of 7:40 AM. I am pretty sure my jog from the parking lot to the runner’s corral could easily have counted as mile 1 of the race.
Let me make one thing clear, my long distance running pace is slow, between 11 and 12 minute miles, so at least I didn’t have to bear the burden of “trying to win” (chuckle chuckle). I set my goal finishing time for 2 hours and 30 minutes (again incredibly slow and far from ambitious). To put this in perspective there were people who completed the FULL Marathon is around 3 hours, so technically I was a true tortoise and far from a hare. While standing in the running corral which was labeled corral “E”, I believe this corral was the last to cross the start line and was comprised of all the people who put a finish time on their registration of around 3 hours or longer. Basically, I was in the same corral as the power walkers!

Mile 1
I felt good, starting off slow pace due to random walkers and sketchy people joining in the race from the side line, “Rogue Racers” they call them…There were TV cameras everywhere and I made sure I had nothing to do with that, certainly didn’t look my best along side the Power Walking soccer moms in full make up and wearing cutesy Puma and Nike jogging suits.

Mile 2
The crowd started to separate out a bit more at this point, I held my pace steady and felt good, even able to chat a bit here and there. I felt no pain, or discomfort, like I could conquer the world. I knew this would be a good race today. The only thing I was competing against was the time clock. 2 hours and 30 minutes was the goal and I was right on schedule, let’s go baby!

Mile 3
Breezed through the third mile like clock work, no biggie. Was like it didn’t really even happen. Cake. J

Mile 4
I started looking around and enjoying the scenery here. …A lot of people already starting to walk at this point. Some people looked really tired and I wondered if maybe they got too excited at the beginning of the race and came out of the blocks too fast? I don’t know, but I started out slow as a snail because I know I did almost no “Speed work” in my training, so I literally had to maintain a pace between 11 and 12 minute miles or I would not have the stamina to finish. It was critical that I did not get “caught up in the moment” and run too fast too soon.

Mile 5

Started getting a little winded here from picking up my pace, getting caught up in the glitz and glam surrounding the race and being too obsessed with my watch timer. I missed the mile 4 marker (did not see it) so I was very confused about exactly how far I had run at this point. I was literally doing math calculations in my head to figure out if I needed to speed up or not! I guess I must have felt pretty good at this point if I could focus on arithmetic and not on breathing and proper running form!

Mile 6
Didn’t even realize I was on mile 6 at this point, thought I was delirious and on mile 5 still! According to my timer I calculated that I was running a 15 minute mile, however I was just delirious! Unfortunately because I misinterpreted my pace, I sped up unnecessarily and started to pay for that slowly but surely…..

Mile 7
IT Band flare up just beginning its long and arduous torment! Help me. Worst case scenario. I knew that since I was running on older New Balance shoes and I didn’t wear my patellar band or IT band support, that there was a chance of either IT Band problems or tendonitis flare ups ( no way I could afford new shoes right before the holidays!)
Hoped that maybe it would die down…it didn’t, so I started favoring the left leg a little.
I felt nervous because it was only Mile 7 and I already had to “favor” a leg. Yikes! I couldn’t believe it, limping at Mile 7? In training I could do 7 miles without blinking!

Mile 8
Had a nervous breakdown starting at Mile 8..Saw friends and family of other racers lined up on the side lines with flowers, horns, bells and signs, and suddenly felt a pang of regret that I had not asked my own friends and family to attend. A huge and ever growing pang of regret. I needed support and needed it bad. I started to run slower and slower, barely moving my feet and feeling that horrible stabbing pain up and down my IT band and working its way firmly into my right hip. I started thinking about the book I had just read about Dean, the Ultramarathon man who was running races of up to 200 miles and how he described his pain and how he pushed through it. I thought I could use Dean’s story as a springbroad to jump from and to stay motivated. Wrong. All I could think of was how Dean was a crazy, psycho man whom I hated for being so awesome and how he did mention about 20 times in his book that he had a “runner’s gene”. Screw you Dean, I though, Screw you! Ughhh, that pain in my right leg had its bag packed, and had settled in for a long winter’s nap. Damn.
….ok so I am desperately looking for my friend Sandra, who had agreed to join me around mile 8 or 9 and would run with me to help me finish this race. Where is she?? Help!!

Mile 9
In spite of my pain, I saw a tired sluggish mom who was barely dragging her feet, take a break and hug her kids and husband who were cheering her on from the sidelines and they gave her a high five and some Gatorade and a piece of candy. Immediately after, she rejoined the race and kept running, she sped up as well, I could tell that she felt inspired and rejuvenated by this brief yet important meeting with her family. After seeing this my throat got tight, I don’t know why, just got overly emotional, tears started coming out of my eyes, and my breath got very short, started hyperventilating a little and for some reason could not refocus my breathing pattern ( which is crucial). It was one of those moments where you realized that this finishing this race means so much to so many people. Over 20,000 people aiming for the same goal. Everyone exhausted, but still pushing. No one giving up. Not yet. At this point a lot of people had started walking and I was even getting passed up by several energetic power walkers (a real morale booster)
Then at that moment when my whole world was spinning and I considered taking a dive, I saw Sandra. I am not a big praying person nor am I the most pious person you ever met, but I knew God had answered my prayers and this was a sign that I needed to finish this race no matter what it took. Sandra showed up at the just the perfect moment.

Mile 10
I told Sandra that I needed to see the Mile 10 mile marker in order to keep going strong. I just mentally needed to see that I had run 10 miles and only had 3 more to go.
I was running so slowly at this point that Sandra was able to calmly power walk next to me and keep up as well as give me a pep talk and help me regain control of my breath. I saw that Mile 10 marker and felt so good, like someone had given me a B12 shot to my bottom! I was back!

Mile 11
At this point I felt light on my feet and refreshed. I made to sure to eat my Clif Bloks/GUs and to take water/Gatorade at every Aid Station that came my way. I told Sandra I was only a few minutes off pace to meet my goal of 2 hrs 30 min, and that I needed her to help me push my pace back up to stay on target. And she did. I complained, limped, cried, everything you can think of, and she wasn’t hearing any of it and assured me that we were so close to the end that we couldn’t dream of stopping.

Mile 12
So at Mile 12 the “light on my feet feeling” came to an abrupt halt. I felt heavy on my feet, VERY heavy on my feet. My right hip and knee hurt so bad that with every step it felt like I was being hit on the hip and knee with a crowbar. I tried to ignore it, it became too tough. Sandra urged me on and said “ Think about it, from this point, every step you take will contribute to the longest you’ve ever run in your life. Come on Girl you are almost there”. It takes a real friend to see you covered in dirt, sweat and salt dried on your face, tears in your eyes, limp in your right leg, raggedly breathing and look at you and know you would be devastated if you didn’t finish, and instead of urging you to stop and rest they simply pat you on the back and say “Lets go, Lets finish this” no babying and no sympathy. That’s the real deal right there. My throat constricted on me again and I tried 10 times to swallow and it wouldn’t happen until I calmed down again. This is one of those moments where you know that physically you are done, but that if you can gather just a little mental toughness you can make it. I know some people tend to brush off mental toughness and some sketchy crazy ideal made up by elite athletes as an excuse for why they are so awesome, however even for an old rookie such as me, Mental Toughness is very very real.
I was having an out of body experience now, I felt like I was standing next to myself watching myself run. I almost stopped about 3 times but due to Sandra’s encouragement I never did stop. I told myself that nobody runs 12 miles and then can’t run just 1 more mile after that. Come on! If you can do 10 you can do 11, if you can do 11 then you can do 12 and so forth. It was a mind game. At the end of the day, all these crazy endurance events are only mind games after a certain point.

Finish Line
I mentally shut out the pain, bit my bottom lip and quietly finished the last .5 mile of the Half Marathon (alone, Sandra had to peel off to the side at this point).
It’s funny, you think after this type of event you would cross the finish and feel like a hero or feel inspired. I guess that can happen but sometimes you don’t, not if you don’t have some huge crew of supporters waiting on you at the finish line to take photos and help nurse your wounds and end your pain. I finished, still limping around and very dizzy and thirsty and basically stood there looking around like a fool until someone shoved a Finisher’s medal at me and told me to go wait in line for my Finishers shirt. Certainly not the moment I expected nor was it anything to write home about.
After getting my free stuff, shirt and taking my finishers photo, I just meandered around a bit with a significant limp before getting in my car and going home.
On the drive home I realized that individual sports are called that for a reason. It’s an individual matter , an individual competition and meant for the better of each individual. No one but you cares and shares the glory of finishing and the feeling of accomplishment. To the average person running a half marathon/marathon or triathlon is not important or exciting, nor is it important in the grand scheme of life. I went into this half marathon knowing I was not the fastest or most decorated runner nor was I going to get any money or awards. I knew it was the sense of renewal and accomplishment I would feel inside, a sense that I do have the control and determination to get something done. In a time of my life where I feel like everything is going haywire and nothing is under my control, it’s good to know that you can lay a goal in front of you, follow the directions that are given and then reach it. I don’t have that best job, the best car, the best house, or the best life. I have problems, stressors and distractions from every corner of the world, but when I put my foot on pavement and just continued to put one foot in front of the other, I knew I could get it done somehow. My 12 week training program was probably the one thin thread that was holding my life together in time that was extremely rocky. I technically couldn’t afford to do this race, and I definitely couldn’t even afford to hire a running coach so I printed a Half Marathon plan off the internet for free. However risky this Endeavour may have been, I took that risk for my sanity and well being. I often complain about my problems and focus on what I don’t have and can’t have, but running this Half Marathon, reminded me of what I do have. Heart. Determination. Focus. Guts.